And now I’m in a sad because I wanna skate but my brain is telling me that the second I get back out there and exert myself I’m going to end up in hospital. And not ending up in the emergency room at all this year is my 2012 resolution, not kidding.

Things that still make me worried I’m going to end up in emergency:

• skating
• playing my bass standing up for more than ten minutes
• jogging briskly to make a bus - walking any long distances
• unloading the dishwasher several times in a row at work/unpacking the drink order at work/bringing in furniture at work
• sleeping on my stomach
• dancing like a bossss
• carrying groceries/boxes of booze
• something random that hits me after I’ve been on the booze so I look like an irresponsible twat

I pretty much pretend I don’t give a shit about this stuff anymore but sometimes it’s really frustratinggggggg. And usually it’s easy to weigh the odds and just do what you wanna do and just pop some codeine if things start to hurt but with things like skating - you fall, it happens. You’re exercising at a pace that has caused me to have problems before. And then throw in derby practice…jesus. It sounds really dumb but the whole time I was thinking that I couldn’t get into derby until after surgery, I wasn’t really thinking about how long that would be. I was going to practise and thinking about how much easier I’d find it all once I didn’t tire so easy and now I’m weaker than I’ve ever been - I never really thought about dem bones. Nobody really tells you that you’re not going to be “better” for years, at least not until after they crack you open.

WAH WAH WAH

I JUST WANT SOME FUCKIN JEDI SKATES I CAN SKATE

H8ERS GONNA SK8

LIFE IS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD AND I AM PRETTY BLESSED I’M JUST HAVING A WHINE